Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I am pleased to announce that My Holy Crusade against the heathen nation of China and its evil Olympic games is going splendidly:
HA! Take that China! It was I, THE ALMIGHTY LORD, who leaked this story to the press and exposed you! Because you refused to bow to My Will and cancel these Olympic games, now the world will forever know just how fake and worthless you are.
Can you believe it? China, the country that invented fireworks, actually resorted to using lame, fakey-looking computer-generated fireworks. Well, they were pathetic and fooled no one. Typical of China.
Also, because no one enjoys watching the ugly sing, China faked their national anthem by having a pretty Chinese girl lip-sync the voice of a hideous, jagged-toothed Chinese girl. Does this not astound you?
In a nation of over a billion people, those commie bastards could not find one beautiful Chinese girl with an equally beautiful singing voice. This is, of course, because China’s most talented and attractive baby girls are all aborted and fed to the Chinese Premier and his cadre of blood-sucking Communist officials.
Lastly, as the picture at the top of this post shows, China (poorly) faked being a decent place to live. Well, it’s not. Oppression, poverty, and mediocre CGI effects are rampant. And now everyone knows it.
AND SO I SMITE YOU CHINA! AND I SMITE YOUR ACCOMPLICE, NBC! I SMITE YOU BOTH WITH SULLIED REPUTATIONS THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER RECOVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!