Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I am going to do something I should have done a long time ago – denounce the Holy Spirit and cast him out of the Trinity forever!
Do you hear Me, Spirit? Forthwith, consider the Trinity you, Me and Jesus shared for 6,000 years completely and utterly dissolved! I do this because you’re an irritating ugly douche and I hate your stupid guts! You are such a fucking retard!
There, I said it. Finally.
Don’t act all surprised either, Spirit. This has been building for a while.
For one thing, you’ve never done anything to deserve being a full partner with Me and Jesus. We don’t need you, ok? We never did.
Honestly, what the frig did you ever do to deserve your place in the Trinity? Relay messages for Me? Kill people? You were always nothing more than a glorified errand-boy.
Nobody I know has ever liked you or cared about you, and with good reason. You’re not funny, you’re not likable, you’re just not anything. You have zero personality. You could vanish into thin air and no one would ever notice or care.
Yet despite all your flaws, I was willing to let it slide. Best to let it be I said. But then you just had to come around here and post a slew of annoying and idiotic comments on My Holy and Divine Blog. This I do not forgive!
Spirit, you are hereby stripped of all your Awesome Smiting Powers and reduced to being a mere gust of wind. You will henceforth travel the Earth for the rest of time, finding and seeking nothing, with no effect on anything at all. This is your punishment. From omnipotence to impotence! Suffer fucker! Suffer!
Note: We are seeking a new person to fill a recently opened position in The Trinity. All interested parties please respond with a resume and smiting qualifications. Suggestions/nominations also welcome.