Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
In this entry, I would like to talk about one of the banes of My Existence – onions on pizza.
I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I order a pizza from Heaven’s Pizza Hut, they always manage to screw it up. I always call up and order My favorite – pepperoni and sausage – and I swear, every time I’m trying to enjoy it, I find a couple small onion bits in there that just ruin the whole pizza.
It’s crazy, because you’d think that a couple tiny pieces of onion wouldn’t be able to poison the taste of an entire pizza, but they do!
It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even have to bite into a slice, I can just tell from the smell. When this happens it drives Me into a violent rage I cannot explain – the last time it happened I struck down the CEO of Pizza Hut (by crushing him under his garage door.)
Anyway, I also really hate onions in other foods too, like in pasta salads. But it’s weird, because I don’t hate onions entirely. I mean, I could eat a bloomin’ onion any day of the week, and I love caramelized onions.
Onions on pizza though? Blech!