Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I would like to talk about something I really detest – the continent of Africa.
Africa is a stupid, worthless continent and I regret ever creating it.
You must understand that, back when I, The Almighty Lord your God, Awesome and Perfect Creator of the Universe, first created the planet Earth, I was a much younger and inexperienced deity. Back then, My design aesthetic was more than a little amateurish.
As a result, we have the hideous land mass that is Africa. Just nothing but sand and desert all across the top, and disgusting jungles and stuff in the bottom part. And oh look! Lots of rivers and ugly mountains just tacked on all over the place. I just can’t stand even looking at this waste of space anymore.
I mean, seriously – why the hell did I make it so stupid big? It’s huge! I think I knew that Africa was ugly, so I thought I could make up for it, overcompensate you might say, by making it so ludicrously large. I should have just destroyed the whole thing and started over, but by then I had already spent like almost an entire day on it, and I had a 7-day schedule to keep. I wasn’t about to give up My day off.
But beyond hating how it looks, I also really, really hate all the people who live in Africa. They are immoral, animalistic heathens who refuse to acknowledge My Divine Power (although they have been given every opportunity to do so.) And so I like to keep them oppressed, poor and AIDS-infected.
I also really enjoy watching them starve.