This is a list of all the smitings I’ve performed on the heathen readers of My Blog thus far. It’s a pity there’s not more. I am far too merciful these days.
NOTE: If you would like to request that I smite someone, you may do so here. Don’t bother praying – I don’t listen to those anymore.
#9 could use a booster smite.
Please smite John McCain for me. And Bridgette too.
You should smite Walmart. With the way they’re taking everything over, they may come after You next! :O
God, I know you smote him with no acting ability, but why the hell haven’t you put a Holy Smiting on Ben Affleck?
He’s still alive..
Is he your way of smiting the rest of us?
Dear God,
Please smite more.
Blargera
PS – You rule.
Hmmm…Wal-Mart taking over God. I see a Smiley face being crucified, then jumping down off the cross and dropping the tithing percentage – “Lower prices every day!
Of course, God would have to work weekends and alternating weeknights.
yo God, can you smite Samson for me b? he killed killer yo!
God, You smote a fast food restaurant for me, so I’m all set for the moment on smitings. Keep up the Good work!
you know what you should smite?
YOUR FACE!
God, can you shit! smite the jerk shit! shit!! who infected my Bill Gates sucks Steve Job!! PC with coprolalia?
SMITE SMITE SMITE!!! SMITE SHIT!! love this page God. LOVE. IT.
especially my smiting. even thought it hurt at first, I ended up banging that girl in the elevator. of course, she gave me herpes (nice trick, God!), but whatever it was worth it.
How about the corp coffee assholes from starbucks. They deserve a good smiting
God-
Smite yourself up the ass for not keeping your “God On The Bible” listing updated. Bastard.
Love,
- Lou
I AM IMMUNE FROM SMITINGS BITCHES!!!!!!!!!
please smite iambetterthanyou for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is a defective sense of the funny. thanks. shut up…um….cooper, i guess.
uppity, I am not Cooper, nor am I associated with him in any way, and I have more of a sense of humour than you.
As for threatening to smite me, you shall receive the smiting instead, because I know you’ve been a snitch.
This whole post is entrapment. God hates snitches.
Lucifer, did you just call me a snitch?
iambetterthanyou claims to have a better sense of humor than me. it’s hard to take anyone seriously with a name like that. i never said you were cooper, oh superior one.
shut up, ben and cooper.
iambetterthanyou is better than no one. he stinks
plus, he’s a snitch.
LIES ALL OF YE WHO BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!!!
I have no history in the whole snitching thing. Besides, TUJ and UC always snitch.
could you smite anne johnson?
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walmart shall die
what did it do to my cross?!
it was perfect in the comment box thing……
please ignore comments 25-27
is this the random guy that does the marvel dc videos?
no
this is just a RANDOM GUY-PERSON-THING, hence the name
Hey, what did I do to you? Never mind, I’m sure it was something shitty.
I wonder what would happen if God stood in front of a mirror and smote himself.
The person who will be smited the most by the REAL GOD is the writer of this blasphemous and evil.
” For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:
All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.”
Mark 7:21-23 (King James Version)
Amen, sistah! Jealous be His Name!
Curtis, stop defiling men.
Bridgette just shut up you have been smited, smited people don’t talk because most smited people are dead and dead people don’t talk
See, this is when it’s good to be a woman, because only men are doing that bad shit, like murder and blasphemy. We gals just make casseroles.
Bridgette, you are named after a Pagan goddess! Please try to live up to your legacy.
guy,
You Shut Up! Dead people do talk if they are born again. God smote me twice, but he let me into Heaven because I started out as a devout Catholic worshipping him with all my heart and ten percent of my bread.
You know how God smites people? He gives them children.
And then some …
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/30/121350/137/486/580223
tony, i’m talking about people who are dead and AREN’T born again…..
And Tony’s talking about people who won’t be able to comprehend the concept of “born again.”
this is as close as i could come to smiting walmart…. watch all of it!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bd61LnxqSng \
Sorry, couldn’t. Smite me.
I would like to pose this question to Bridget. It seems like sometimes that you don’t believe that this is the ‘Real God’ who post this blog. I would like to ask what makes you so certain. I assume that you believe that God is all-powerful and all knowing. If that is the case, then wouldn’t he be powerful enough to have internet and knowledgeable enough to work a computer? Every thing God has said on his blog seems to be straight out of the Bible. If you don’t believe that God can start his own blog about stuff that pisses him off, then maybe you should take another look at your faith.
chris does have a point…..
FACE! Bridgette!
hey god could you smite the retards who came up with this:
http://everystudent.com/features/isthere.html?gclid=CMLbj5-Mu5UCFQLBsgod8nrhQA
or at least give them less retarded reasons
Shut up, Ran. God has already said plenty of times that He loves the retards.
Random, that was a good link… but sometimes you really sound like a retarded thirteen-year-old boy.
god, don’t you have to add your latest smitedededding to this page?
hey God,
where can i find a keyboard with a “smite” key?
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tryin my cross again…..
awesome!!!!!!!!!
walmart shall die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know God, I was wondering why you don’t smite all those other Gods? Is it that they’re more powerful than you?
Well, he did already state that those so called ‘gods’ as merely wannabes, in which case, only God is God.
God, I demand You unsmite iambetterthanyou AT ONCE!!!
Also, hurry the fuck up and smite that octopus-raping tranny known as uppity cracka, will You?
Happy Pagan, let’s just say that if all the gods and goddesses had a banquet, God would be lucky if he was allowed to bus the tables.
octopus raping? that’s not funny. see, what you’re doing there is trying to be creative, but it’s neither creative nor funny. that’s why you gto smited in the first place.
Looks like Texas is going to get a smiting from Ike.
texas is getting smited for sure. fuck texas anyway.
“New Yorkers are neurotic and unfriendly, says Cambridge University ‘personality map’ ”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/2779683/New-Yorkers-are-neurotic-and-unfriendly-says-Cambridge-University-personality-map.html
Mainers are disagreeable and not conscientious. So stay away.
Texas’ new motto: At least we’re not Mississippi!
Texas deserves to be smited.
Who is this ‘betterthanthou’ character? He comes off as male but his demanding character would lead one to believe that he’s actually a bitch.
You haven’t been smoten yet Cracka? I’m not happy until Cracka gets the smiting he truly deserves.
i think God’s smiting me by allowing you to post here. so, that should make you happy.
Smite!!!!
Yo, God,
Please smite the foul filthy vile sluttish trollop female next door whose vile spawn is allowed to beat anf bang upon the shared apartment floor for hours, endlessly, invading my space with loud intrusive unwanted noise.
I asked the slut to quell her vile demon so as to not invade my space with the intrusive incessant nerve-wracking noise.
“I’ll try,” the self-centered slut spewed but the heatheness did nothing.
I call upon thee, og God, to smite and smote and rend asunder the foul filthy female with no respect for others forced to endure the relentless assault upon those wanting only peace and quiet within the minute area that is paid for with hard-earned lucre.
If possible, oh One on high, if you could disembowel the filthy trollop and leave her mangled carcass upon a lonely rock for the vultures to feast upon her entrailswhile she looks on in utter agony I would be very grateful.
Since the harlot’s vile spawn is not to blame, being a mere toddler, perhaps you could send that noisy spawn to some 3rd-world country that practices slavery and child labor from an early age.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter.
Dear God..
Please….Please smite all the big wigs at NovaCare Rehabilitation in Canonsburg PA….I am sick of their smarmy, corporate ass-kissing, lie-to-your face, shit-eating, condescending speeches about how we should be grateful for our dead end jobs and need to work harder so we can be rewarded with $5 gift cards and “lunch with the boss”. REALLY?! Lunch with the boss? They should be smote just for that alone!
please smite and curse Japanese AV actresses by sending them AIDS OR Deadlier disease.
Dear God,
please smite Former President of Republic Of China Shui-Bian Chen and Ex-Former President of Republic Of China Deng-Hui Li.
Thank You for listening and answering my prayer.
AMEN!
Dear God,
Please smite Orkin Pest Control. I paid them $5000 to prevent carpenter ant damage and now I have $3000 worth of carpenter ant damage. And they won’t pay for it.
Thank you.
Love,
Beanie
Dearest God,
Please curse Jolin Tsai with Nightmare, let her nightmare being raped by an man come true.
AMEN!
Hello God,
Would you please Zhi-Zhong Chen the Municipal Council Man Of Gaoxiong City of Republic of China Taiwan Region Gaoxiong City by sending him Nephrotic syndrome OR Kidney Failure.
Elijah Hu