Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
This week marks the 50th anniversary of NASA, and so I, THE LORD, have decided to talk about My 50-years-old grudge against NASA, or as I like to call it, The National Atheism and [...]
Archive for July, 2008
Ask God: July
Posted in Q&A, tagged God, Questions, Stupid Idiots on July 29, 2008 | 146 Comments »
In this monthly feature, The Almighty first answers a few of the many questions He has recently received. Afterwards, mortals will be given the opportunity to ask God one (and only one) question. And if The Lord is feeling generous, He may actually answer.
STUPID QUESTIONS
QUESTION #1:
Susan Lange: “I would like to greet you but I [...]
God on The Bible – Malachi 3:8-10 (Tithings)
Posted in The Bible, tagged Cheapskates, God, Tithings on July 25, 2008 | 113 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today’s Blessed Bible Verse is from the book of Malachi, chapter 3, verses 8 through 10:
8 Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, `How are we robbing thee?’ In [...]
God in the News – Swayze Still Alive
Posted in People, tagged God, Shirtless Bastard, Swayze on July 23, 2008 | 313 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Before I head out for another Glorious Day of Omnipotent Smiting, I have to comment on this news story I saw this morning.
Patrick Swayze Calls His Recovery a ‘Miracle’
Bullshit! Your recovery is no miracle [...]
#36 The Holy Spirit
Posted in Religion, tagged God, Holy Spirit, Retard, Trinity on July 21, 2008 | 261 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I am going to do something I should have done a long time ago – denounce the Holy Spirit and cast him out of the Trinity forever!
Do you hear Me, Spirit? Forthwith, consider [...]
God on The Bible – Leviticus 24:16 (Blasphemy)
Posted in The Bible, tagged Bible, Blasphemy, God, Stonings on July 16, 2008 | 214 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I give you all a great gift – a brand new and what I plan to be regular feature of My Divine Blog, “God on the Bible.” As I consider you humans to [...]
#35 Monday Through Thursday
Posted in Activities, tagged Angel-Dust, Bored, God, Weekends on July 14, 2008 | 168 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Hello My children. It is currently Monday morning in the Universe and I, The Almighty God, am not looking forward to another damn 4-day week of watching over the lot of you.
Another week of [...]
God in the News – 92% Believe in Me
Posted in People, Religion, tagged America, Awesome, God on July 9, 2008 | 282 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Hello mortals. I saw this news story while googling Myself today and so I thought I’d share it:
Poll finds 92 percent of Americans believe in God
Don’t bother reading it. It basically says that 92% [...]
#34 Democracy
Posted in Politics, tagged Faith, God, Government, Stupid Idiots on July 4, 2008 | 232 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
In America, it is the 4th of July. This means that an imbecilic race of hot dog swallowers are out in force today savoring their supposed ‘freedom’ and ‘independence.’
I, The Almighty Lord, would like [...]
God in the News – Trumpets for Me
Posted in People, Religion, tagged Giant Goat Horns, God, Worship on July 2, 2008 | 103 Comments »
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Greetings, My humble human readers. Today I will take a break from My Hatred Therapy because, well, I just can’t hate on anything right now. I’m feeling positively providential this week.
My continuous smiting of [...]