#37 NASA

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! This week marks the 50th anniversary of NASA, and so I, THE LORD, have decided to talk about My 50-years-old grudge against NASA, or as I like to call it, The National Atheism [...]

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Ask God: July

In this monthly feature, The Almighty first answers a few of the many questions He has recently received. Afterwards, mortals will be given the opportunity to ask God one (and only one) question. And if The Lord is feeling generous, He may actually answer. STUPID QUESTIONS QUESTION #1: Susan Lange: “I would like to greet [...]

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God on The Bible – Malachi 3:8-10 (Tithings)

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Today’s Blessed Bible Verse is from the book of Malachi, chapter 3, verses 8 through 10: 8 Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, `How are we robbing [...]

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God in the News – Swayze Still Alive

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Before I head out for another Glorious Day of Omnipotent Smiting, I have to comment on this news story I saw this morning. Patrick Swayze Calls His Recovery a ‘Miracle’ Bullshit! Your recovery [...]

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#36 The Holy Spirit

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Today I am going to do something I should have done a long time ago – denounce the Holy Spirit and cast him out of the Trinity forever! Do you hear Me, Spirit? [...]

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God on The Bible – Leviticus 24:16 (Blasphemy)

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Today I give you all a great gift – a brand new and what I plan to be regular feature of My Divine Blog, “God on the Bible.” As I consider you humans [...]

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#35 Monday Through Thursday

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Hello My children. It is currently Monday morning in the Universe and I, The Almighty God, am not looking forward to another damn 4-day week of watching over the lot of you. Another [...]

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God in the News – 92% Believe in Me

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Hello mortals. I saw this news story while googling Myself today and so I thought I’d share it: Poll finds 92 percent of Americans believe in God Don’t bother reading it. It basically [...]

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#34 Democracy

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! In America, it is the 4th of July. This means that an imbecilic race of hot dog swallowers are out in force today savoring their supposed ‘freedom’ and ‘independence.’ I, The Almighty Lord, [...]

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God in the News – Trumpets for Me

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Greetings, My humble human readers. Today I will take a break from My Hatred Therapy because, well, I just can’t hate on anything right now. I’m feeling positively providential this week. My continuous [...]

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