Ask God: June

In this monthly feature, The Almighty first answers a few of the many questions He has recently received. Afterwards, mortals will be given the opportunity to ask God one (and only one) question. And if The Lord is feeling generous, He may actually answer. QUESTION #1: Reg: “Dear God, I’m afflicted by an unsightly and [...]

Read Full Post »

#33 Atheists

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! I am the Lord Almighty; I am the Light of the World and The Ultimate Goodness; more Perfect than your feeble human brain could ever conceive; I made the world and all the [...]

Read Full Post »

#32 Public Speaking

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! As surely as I am the Almighty LORD your God, the One who restored the boundaries of Israel from Lebo Hamath to the Sea of the Arabah, and the One who makes you [...]

Read Full Post »

#31 Galactus

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Of the many powerful beings roaming throughout My Cosmos, there is one that has provoked My Righteous Anger on countless occasions. I am speaking, of course, about Galactus, the ‘Devourer of Worlds.’ Man, [...]

Read Full Post »

#30 Fat People

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! In this entry, I, The Almighty Lord your God, Awesome and Perfect Creator of the Universe, Master of All That Is and All That Ever Will Be, wish to talk about My Supreme [...]

Read Full Post »

#29 Sandals

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, The Prince of Peace, The Lord of Lords and The King of Kings: Jesus The Christ. Hello My Children! I am greatly pleased to speak with you today. First, you are likely wondering where My Father [...]

Read Full Post »

#28 Boy Scouts

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! In this entry, I would like to talk about My Newfound Hatred for the boy scouts. You see, I used to love them…but now I have to kill them. The scouts used to [...]

Read Full Post »

#27 Sex and the City

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Whores! Sluts! Jezebels! Tramps! Skanks! She-Devils! Hoes! Harlots! Self-Absorbed Buck-Toothed Money-Grubbing Cum-Dumpsters! These are but just a few of the Divine terms I use to describe the disgusting cunts that make up the [...]

Read Full Post »

#26 Losers Who “Tried Their Best”

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! Today I would like to talk about a group of people I loathe – losers who “tried their best.” You know who I’m talking about here? Losers? Who tried their best? These are [...]

Read Full Post »

#25 Too Many Questions

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF! In this, the 25th entry of My Hatred Therapy, I, The Almighty Lord your God, feel that I have finally made a breakthrough. I think I’ve discovered one of the biggest inciting, underlying [...]

Read Full Post »